Comparison Kills Confidence
By Julie Pearson, Founder of Gap Gals Ministry
Comparison is a trap – it can kill your confidence.
Last Thanksgiving, we took a family vacation to Florida to visit our cousins. We spent some time in the Keys, land of big palm trees and white sandy beaches. A glimpse of heaven!
I was fascinated by how many iguanas live in South Florida. Our first day, we journeyed to the pool. I was ready to bask in the Florida sun, relax, read my books, and work on my golden graham tan. Ten minutes into my tanning, my kids scurried over to me, excited to share all the iguanas they just scouted. As a huge, thorny, green iguana passed by my lounge chair, we suddenly realized these friendly creatures hiding in the lush green bushes surrounded us.
I grabbed my camera not wanting to miss out on this Kodak moment. As I walked around the pool area with my son, we looked intently in the bushes and saw more iguanas camouflaged on bright green tree branches. They looked so peaceful, relaxing and taking it easy. Gazing closely at these creatures, I realized their beauty. From a distance, they all looked the same, blending in with their habitat, but upon closer inspection, they were quite different. Each had its own unique spots, texture, and colors.
Iguanas use their camouflage trait to “blend in” with their environment. This is their defense mechanism against their predators. They are afraid to stand out, as this poses a threat to their safety.
I can be just like an iguana. It’s easier and safer to blend in. Blending in often causes me to compare myself to those around me. I want the gifts, talents, and things possessed by other women. I don’t want to be different because what I have doesn’t seem to be as valuable as what they have. I am too afraid of showcasing my true colors…I compare my colors to other women, afraid my colors don’t seem as beautiful. In addition, if I reveal my true colors, I may get rejected, and this just hurts too badly.
A continual habit of comparison becomes a trap and ultimately kills confidence. We get stuck in life and never live up to our full potential.
Imagine how rewarding life could be if we as women learned not to be trapped by comparison. I think we would see more of us living a confident and contented life.
I love this analogy in the Bible.
1 Corinthians 12:14-20 (NIV)
Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
Our bodies have different organs with different functions. All are important and have to work together to function properly. Likewise, we can’t all be the same. God created each person with unique abilities so the human race could function properly.
Is comparison ruining your confidence? If so, can you take a step back and acknowledge the colorful spots that make you special, unique and different? Celebrate your natural bent instead of “blending in” with your neighbor. Then, ask God how you can use your unique traits – your colorful spots – to make a difference in the world around you. He will show you!
Visit Julie’s blog site for other inspirational messages of finding purpose, value and self-worth as women.